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29 April 2012 @ 03:46 am
Dangling Modifiers (Two-Shot)  
Title: Dangling Modifiers (1/2)
NC-17 | HunHan | Sehun/Luhan 
Words: 2,965
Genre: College!AU 
Summary: Jongin drags Sehun to an overpriced art class, where he obviously finds a cute boy slash graphic design demi-god. Oh and probably lots of necessary cusses and unnecessary adjectives. 


Sehun blinked, glancing briefly at the sign above the door. “If there were ever to be a word to describe how I felt about this, it would be the lovechild of unstimulating and totally fucking stupid.”

Jongin couldn’t even muster up the decency to look unimpressed. “Totally, fucking and stupid are three words. You can’t have a four-way lovechild. You’d know that if you spent more time reading the textbook than erotica in 8th grade bio.” 


“Um-” Sehun scoffed. “How many times do I have to tell you, Sex and the City fanfiction is not erotica.” 


“Then explain to me why I was forced to read line after line about Mr. Big’s Gentle Caresses.” 


Jongin swung the door open, clutching onto his best friend’s wrist and dragging him inside. Sehun rolled his eyes. 


“His name is Mr. Big, be thankful you were spared from reading about less-than-gentle fu-”


“Hi. Welcome to Pinocchio Art Studio. Can I help you?” A receptionist decked out in a satin cat sweater sat behind a large wooden counter, reciting the greeting in a monotone voice as she filed her nails. Sehun flared his nostrils each time her lips smacked in rhythm with her gum chewing.


“Yes,” Jongin replied, flashing one of his many pre-prepared smiles. This particular one was definitely filed under the Slightly Judging But Still Polite Since You’re Wearing Khakis and Will Probably Die Alone category. “My friend and I are here for the 4:30 drawing class.”


The woman, without tilting her head, raised her eyes and jutted a stubby thumb at the hallway to the left. “You’re in Gyung Joo’s class. Room 221. And you’re late.” 


“Well, it’s only 4:32...” Sehun started, but Jongin just flashed him his I’m Going to Fuck You Up If You Make Us Stand Here And Talk to Her For Longer Than Needed half-smile and uttered a small thank you to the cat lady. 


Sehun groaned as they made their way down the hallway. “The receptionist doesn’t even want me here, why is this necessary.” 


A few days prior, Jongin had called him and pleaded begged politely requested that Sehun take a drawing class with him. Apparently, “the hot chick that lives down the hall from us is into Monet and shit” constituted as reason enough to lug your buddy ol’ pal to some lame (read: $170) visual arts class. 


“Look, I’m paying and you might actually learn something. And let’s not forget that time I put on your sister’s pink dress and danced around for you.”


“That was like eleven years ago, and I don’t remember anyone forcing you to add the tiara and heels.” 


Jongin opted for pushing open the door to Room 221 rather than grace his friend with an answer. 


Tables lined the inside of the room, each seating about four people. About three quarters of the seats were taken, with most of the free ones situated at the back. It appeared that the instructor hadn’t yet arrived so the two took their time finding a seat. 


Jongin was scanning the room for the best location and Sehun was mid eye-roll when his gaze fell on a boy seated alone at one of the tables. He had his head rested on one hand while his other carefully looped a pencil around a sketchbook. His eyebrows were furrowed above big, chestnut doe eyes, and his caramel-colored bangs were swept to the side. The sleeves of his denim button down shirt were rolled up to reveal pale forearms, and his white tee underneath hung low enough to display prominent collarbones. From what could be seen, the boy had perfect hair and a perfect face and a perfect body and


“God bless Monet,” Sehun sighed, grabbing Jongin by the collar and swiftly drifting over to the boy’s table. He hesitated once they reached it. “Umm... are these seats taken?” 


The boy looked up, glancing at each of their faces. He offered a small smile then shook his head. “No, go ahead.” 


Once they had sat down, Sehun introduced him and Jongin, who rubbed his neck with a sour look. 


“Nice to meet you, I’m Lu Han.” 


At this early point in the conversation, Sehun’s mind drew a blank. Lu Han’s big eyes seemed to be staring into his soul and when he tried to look away, he could only focus on the way Lu Han’s tongue rolled as he said his own name. This, of course, gave way to the framing pink lips that looked entirely too soft and kissable and perfect.


Jongin kicked him from the left, responding to Sehun’s glare with an I Just Know You Already Got It Bad, You Dumb Fucker smirk. 


By the time Sehun realized a whole 25 seconds of staring had gone by, Lu Han’s smile had faded and his eyebrows had become slightly creased. Before he could clear the flush creeping up his cheeks and say something redeeming, or say anything at all really, the door to the classroom flew open.


A woman with espresso-caliber eye bags and a tangled bun stumbled in, balancing a number of supplies in her hands. Apparently, Gyung Joo was a double major in Medieval Studies and Nutritional Science (really though, what the actual fuck) and was only teaching this art class as a favour to her uncle. Sehun’s ‘Reasons for Attending’ list quickly trickled down to a single point: Lu Han with the perfect hair and the perfect face and the perfect body. 


--- 


“You told me you would rather blow Samuel L. Jackson behind that jjajangmyeon place in Sincheon than go to that art class,” Chanyeol stated through a mouthful of ramen. 


Jongin glared at Sehun from his spot across the hallway, sketchbook and pencil in hand. 


The three were seated on the floor outside their apartment, Chanyeol and Sehun somehow having agreed to accompany Jongin on his quest for ass. As the former two devoured their dinner, Jongin was perfecting his assignment for the week, hoping Hot Chick from 32B would happen to stroll out of the elevator and fall madly in lust with him.


“Sehun just has his nuts in a twist over this Chinese guy that we sit with. Honestly, I don’t get it.  The Powerpuff Girls look older than him.” Jongin ended with a lingering glance at the elevator doors.


Sehun pouted. “But the Powerpuff Girls don’t have these breathtaking chocolate eyes that give me goosebumps in places that I didn’t know could get goosebumps or cheekbones that makes my soul want to claw out of my chest, up my esophagus and past my larynx-”


“Fuck how is that even a good thing-”


“You said like 10 words to him the whole cla-”


“And this hair that looks so flawlessly swept that even those stupid idol stars with their stupid wind machines and hoards of coordi-noonas couldn’t possess a nicer style-”


Chanyeol choked a bit on a stubborn noodle. “I’m sorry, Danielle Steel, but can you just stop, I’m eating. Really.” 


Jongin stood up, looking defeated. “I’m going to bed. I guess we’ll have to try and catch her tomorrow-”


“We?” 


“-after school and work. And Sehun, if you’re so vomit-inducingly gay for this guy, why don’t you trying saying something instead of gawking at him like he’s the statue of David.” 


As much as he wanted to provide a retort ending in ‘you primitive morphodite,’ Sehun couldn’t help but agree.


--- 


The following Tuesday rolled around and Sehun entered the art studio classroom, surveying the desks for a tuft of caramel. He felt his heartbeat pick up when his eyes met Lu Han’s, who promptly smiled. 


He made his way over and tried to hide his irritation when Lu Han asked, “Where’s your friend today?” 


“He’s coming, he’s going to be a little late. He thought 36 days were about as long as one can really push Laundry Day.” 


Lu Han chuckled a little and Sehun was glad he thought he was joking, if just to hear the sounds escaping the older boy’s mouth. 


“So,” Lu Han started, “what brings you to Pinocchio Art Studio?”


“Kim Jongin’s libido. You?” 


Lu Han pursed his lips. “Well... I’m actually studying graphic design but I’ve always been more interested in digital art. I thought I should probably get to my roots with some pencil and paper.” 


Sehun’s eyes twinkled with admiration. He himself had never been much of an artist, as evidenced by his train-wreck of a sketch assignment. It was up there with Joan Rivers’ face and Saw 17 for world-class fuck-ups. 


He soon learned that he and Lu Han attended the same college and that Lu Han had moved to Korea halfway through high school after his father had received a new job offer.


As he listened to Lu Han discuss idle topics, Sehun found himself trying to think of ways to ascertain his new friend’s sexuality.
Invite him for dinner and offer him a choice between hot dog or hamburger? Too forward. Ask for his opinion on Liza Minnelli? Too weird. Go to noraebang and see if he’ll sing Enrique Iglesias’ Bailiamos? Wait what. 


Lu Han had stopped talking. His eyebrows had returned to their furrowed position, one that Sehun liked to call The Judgy Crinkle. When was the last time Sehun added to the conversation? Or nodded in acknowledgement? Or inhaled? 


Jongin interrupted this train of thought by gracefully collapsing in the seat next to him, whipping his materials out of his bag. “Fuck,” he whispered, “the laundromat was out of the usual Bounty detergent. I can’t do Lavender Fields, I need April Fresh.”


“It’s been 36 days. I doubt either one could’ve overpowered the pure Stank radiating off that heap.” Sehun heard Lu Han chuckle across from them and swore he could die happy just listening to the light laughter.


---


“I wonder why it’s called Pinocchio Art Studio. I haven’t seen a single reference to medieval Italian literature, Disney, or f(x),” Jongin mused as he, Sehun and their friend, Kyungsoo, emerged from their geo lecture hall. 


“I’m 90% sure they just needed a rhyme for studio,” Kyungsoo commented, biting into a granola bar. 


“How you can eat granola, and without chocolate at that, I’ll never understand.”


“Comparable to how I’ll never understand why you use your left hand to jerk o-”


“OH my GOD.” Kyungsoo and Jongin whipped their heads around to look at Sehun, who hissed, “It’s Lu Han!” 


Sehun was trailing slightly behind the pair as they chattered and happened to look into an empty classroom as they passed. There, he noticed the familiar caramel hair and doe eyes which were concentrated on a sketchbook that lay on the desk. 


Four weeks of art classes had gone by and Sehun had made no progress in finding out whether Lu Han was mildly interested in penis. Sure, there were hints here and there, but even fucking Jongin was prone to a good episode of Dawson’s Creek or a vanilla
bath-salt set once in a while. 


He quickly shooed away Jongin and Kyungsoo, who were making obscene gestures and whispering teasing mockeries that sounded like lines out of a semi-decent, possibly more marketable version of Two Girls One Cup. It was times like these that Sehun often wondered how he had managed to develop a sexual appetite for humans with any ounce of testosterone whatsoever. 


Once they were down the hall and around the corner, Sehun turned toward the empty classroom. He felt his throat constrict slightly as his heart began to pound faster in his chest. 


He wished his eyebrows would stop sweating.


He finally approached the entrance, knocking twice, slowly, on the doorframe. Lu Han didn’t hear it. Sehun mentally round-kicked himself for being so awkward. 


He knocked again, this time adding a small cough. Way to hike it up a notch, Oh Sehun. 


Lu Han’s head snapped up and he instantly smiled in recognition. “Sehun!”


Sehun felt a shiver crawl up his spine at the soft voice calling his name. “Lu Han, hi! I hope I’m not interrupting anything... I was just walking by and saw you! In here. By accident. Literally by accident.” 


Sehun willed himself to shut up right after ‘interrupting anything’ but a few spare words decided to fuck it and tumble out of his mouth as well. 


Lu Han’s looked down, cheekbones accentuated by his smile. “Oh no, you’re not interrupting, I’m just trying to get a head start on our sketching assignment for this week...”


He opened his mouth to say more but the smile was wiped off his face when he noticed the clock behind Sehun. “Oh my GOD, oh my god, I’m so late for my web design class.” 


He scrambled to gather all his things and shove them in his bag. Sehun, desperate for more time with Lu Han outside of the art studio, blurted out, “Hey umm we’re having a party - we as in me and my roommates, Jongin and Chanyeol. You’ve met Jongin, of course... on Friday night and, er, I think, well if you’re not busy... like drawing or graphic designing or blowdrying your hair-”


“What?”


“What? What- what I mean is, if you’re not busy Friday night, you’re welcome to come. To the party. At the apartment of me and my roommates...” 


Lu Han stopped ramming things into his bag and watched Sehun scratch the back of his head. 


“...Jongin. And Chanyeol.” 


“You can end your string of fragmented sentences now. Yeah sure, sounds like fun. Text me the address, I’ll see you Friday!” Lu Han threw him a smile and lightly slapped Sehun’s shoulder with his palm as he ran out the door. 


Sehun was torn between dying of utter shame and embarrassment, and jumping elatedly at the fact that Lu Han the Chinese Graphic Design God would be in his apartment, possibly getting shitfaced. 


Now all there was left to do was actually plan a party. 


---


“I’m cool, as long as Hot Chick from 32B is invited,” Jongin shrugs.


Chanyeol puts up both his hands and interrupts, “Wait, Jongin, shut up. Sehun, since this was your fantastic seduction solution, you’re buying the drinks. All of them. As in, you better buy out all the Mike’s Hard Lemonade the liquor store has in stock for the girls that Jongin and I plan on inviting. And don’t forget strawberry daiquiri mix, it’s Jongin’s favourite.” 


“My favourite? You’re the one that decided to have three pitchers in a row that one time and ended up spending more time pantsless in front of the toilet than with that yoga instructor you had been hitting on--”


“Ladies,” Sehun interjected, “would you also like me to get Malibu Snowflake and some passionfruit gaytinis while I’m at it? Now make sure you invite a decent amount of people, Lu Han can’t know that we started planning this thing the day before.” 


---


Sehun took a shot of something that tasted vaguely like peaches and nail polish remover. And another. 


10:57 pm
Lu Han Location: undetermined
Lu Han Sexual Preference: undetermined 


Sehun wandered among the throngs of people, wondering how his third cousin, once removed, from Thailand had heard about the party. There were a few guys he was positive were on his 6th grade swim team playing beer pong on an upside down foosball table.


Sehun didn’t even own a foosball table. 


He sighed, losing hope that he would ever get to an acceptable level of friendship with Lu Han at this rate. How could he even begin to explain to Lu Han the knot that arises in his stomach when he catches a peek at those rose-tinted cheeks as Gyung Joo critiques his artwork? Or the way Sehun’s ears turn red when Lu Han laughs at his jokes and his eyes crinkle up at the end? Sehun couldn’t even make a clear assessment of whether Lu Han preferred boobs or bulge, for god’s sake.


Just as he was lowering his fourth shot glass, and slightly feeling the buzz, Sehun caught sight of a navy and yellow letterman jacket. A jacket he had definitely imagined seductively peeling off a certain someone before. 


The owner turned around and made eye contact with Sehun, instantly perking up. “Sehun!” 


Lu Han pushed past several football jocks and nearly knocked over a beer keg trying to get to Sehun. 


“I’ve been looking for you forever! I’ve been here for almost an hour and I got swept into a conversation with that girl over there who insists her period is a shade darker than her best friend’s and she’s convinced she consequently has Chlamydia or maybe even Athlete’s Foot. And then that guy over there tried to sell me what I think was a dead rabbit. I think. I hope.”


Sehun takes note of Lu Han’s ruffled hair and the delightfully beach-y aroma of coconut liquor on his tongue. 


11:14 pm 
Lu Han Location - Sehun’s bedroom
Lu Han Sexual Preference - undetermined


As Lu Han paced back and forth, alternating between animatedly recapitulating his encounters with the freaks currently in Sehun’s apartment and touching absolutely everything in the bedroom, Sehun tried to scheme through his alcoholic haze. 


He managed to distract himself, however, noting the way that Lu Han’s hands twist as he talks and the way his lips curl around certain words. Sehun has never wanted to kiss someone so badly. 


“Lu Han, I like you. In the way that a five-year-old boy likes the girl whose pigtails he pulls or the way a female peacock likes the male peacock with the most elaborate feathers.”


Okay, fuck scheming and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind apparently. 




PART ONE / PART TWO

A/N: So I said I would never write fics again and I somehow regurgitated this out. Um. So first one of the fandom for me, just too many exo feels; I can't ♥
And now it's 4:33 am. Meep.



 
 
 
jexitopiajexitopia on April 29th, 2012 12:39 pm (UTC)
KYAA CAN'T WAIT FOR PART TWO!

This was so sweet.. HunHan is just so.efneregeggtierirn

<3
thejoyluckclubthejoyluckclub on April 30th, 2012 03:52 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you like it.^^

Part two is up~

Kirsifromthestar on April 29th, 2012 01:41 pm (UTC)
omg i need the part 2 afsiofjaoi this is absolutely perfect

i love sehun here so much omg ;~~;

favorite.
thejoyluckclubthejoyluckclub on April 30th, 2012 03:54 am (UTC)
Oh my gosh (*´∀`*)

thank you so much; I've posted part 2~

paint: exopizzarainbowoman on April 29th, 2012 02:43 pm (UTC)
ok so here i am double commenting as i am double subscribing (as on aff) and well this is c+p but IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS RIGHT

shit omg im loving this and btw subscribing + remembering @ livejournal because THIS IS SOME AMAZING FIC RIGHT THERE AND
OMG I AM INCOHERENT
so like i love all the wit and anecdotes and what, scientific words?? ok my point is i possibly worship your writing style already and like i would quote EVERYTHING from this fic because omg
and i do like myself some art school au and this just.... exceeded my expectations OH DEAR LORD PLEASE JUST KEEP WRITING OMG YOU ARE GOD'S GIFT TO THE FANDOM

SO YEAH OMG
thejoyluckclubthejoyluckclub on April 30th, 2012 03:56 am (UTC)
Okay you are actually the sweetest thing ever, can I just-- *Chanyeol smile*

I actually wasn't expecting anyone to read it before I posted the second part because I wasn't planning on spreading them out or anything and now it's this awkward moment where part 2 is up...

Thank you so much ;~~;

I'm glad you can put up with my ADD writing

SchöneTier ♔re_lla on April 29th, 2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
LOL Pinocchio and f(x) are what i thought about too !

now i want part two ~~ ; w ;
thejoyluckclubthejoyluckclub on April 30th, 2012 03:57 am (UTC)
Haha I actually only realized the connection to f(x) halfway through writing this. Haaaay SM.

Thanks for reading; part 2's up!

VampireMadonna: Jaejoong5vampiremadonna on April 29th, 2012 05:50 pm (UTC)
One of the most well-written HunHan fics I've read so far.
Can't wait for part 2 :)
thejoyluckclubthejoyluckclub on April 30th, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
Noooo way, I have MAJOR difficulty believing that, but I am very flattered none the less!

Thank you for reading, I'm glad you're able to stick through my spastic writing~


yui8_lin: SHINeeyui8_lin on April 29th, 2012 05:51 pm (UTC)
I want to read this!
MY SPOOOT
/I shall comeback when I finished my paper -that it's due to tomorrow O.O-
aulio123aulio123 on April 29th, 2012 11:40 pm (UTC)
OMGOMG this was soooo good! I need the other part ;~;
thejoyluckclubthejoyluckclub on April 30th, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
Thank you! ;~~;

The final bit is up ♡
loveydoves3loveydoves3 on April 30th, 2012 01:38 am (UTC)
AHAHA this is amazing XD
Really good job! “ヽ(´▽`)ノ”
thejoyluckclubthejoyluckclub on April 30th, 2012 03:59 am (UTC)
(♡◠‿◠)

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
heartless, mindless (nameless): speshuuul sehun.xxbbq on April 30th, 2012 04:17 am (UTC)
omg i couldn't stop laughing while reading this. XD
/runs to read part two \o/
QianCgrumpybiscuit on May 4th, 2012 02:45 pm (UTC)
This is just simply amazing. I can't stop reading them.
burn_upburn_up on July 24th, 2012 09:42 pm (UTC)
I'm kind of in love with your writing. And I'm afraid it is very hard to stop writing fanfiction... Thankfully for us...
xxmelsxxxxmelsxx on September 7th, 2012 01:04 pm (UTC)
“Um-” Sehun scoffed. “How many times do I have to tell you, Sex and the City fanfiction is not erotica.”

Omg. This is where i decided i needed to open a word document to copy and paste the parts I wanted to comment on. xD

His eyebrows had returned to their furrowed position, one that Sehun liked to call The Judgy Crinkle.

KJHKFJGH The Judgy Crinkle. XDDD I love this.

He wished his eyebrows would stop sweating.

It's hilarious little details like this that make a fic. xD

“Lu Han, I like you. In the way that a five-year-old boy likes the girl whose pigtails he pulls or the way a female peacock likes the male peacock with the most elaborate feathers.”

Drunk!Sehun for the win!! XD